Once is a Fluke

Twice a coincidence.

Three times a pattern.

Four times a standard.

How do I measure my own behavior? More specifically, how do I measure my negative behavior?

I use this simple 4-step process to analyze my negative behaviors to identify whether they are one-offs or systematic problems that need to be addressed.

Had a bad reaction or handled a situation poorly?

It could be a one-off in which case I can give myself grace, not beat myself up too much, reflect, and do better next time. This prevents me from lingering too long on past events I cannot change.

What about if it happened two, three, or four times?

Now, the system allows a quick analysis to identify the behavior and categorize it. More than twice, this has become a pattern and triggers an alarm that something needs to change. If it happens again, it becomes a standard which is unacceptable.

Identify the problem, diagnosis for the root cause, and craft a new plan to address the behavior that needs to change.